I’m doing all I can not to cry. Holding, holding, swallowing, my throat tight. I’m scared I won’t stop. This too shall pass, I know. Can I wait til then? Can I hold it in that long? How long? Some moments deserve my tears, this one does not.
The morning was spent making love. Crisp sheets making their delicious noise on slept-in skin. The afternoon was spent auditing items so nothing was left behind.
Him: nothing left outstanding?
Me: nothing left outstanding!
The last words of shattered love. There is no honour in blindsided endings. Just a void of anger, filled with broken feelings needing pieced together. They are still falling with nowhere to land. A cowards farewell.
Who are you? I don’t recognize your eyes. Squinting, hating, ice blue. My hidden lake was a mirage. This was never a safe place to swim.
I’ll learn to embrace this beast from my dark dreams. Forgive myself for being so naive. Take note of the signs as they appear. And know again the peace of early morning crisp sheets.
